It's a Juggling Game

Juggling between motherhood and work is really not easy. Taking care of babies requires alot of time and babies need constant attention.

In my 3 and half months of motherhood, I have found myself torn between different tasks at many points. Joey may be fussing and wanting someone to carry her, but I need to rush some work that is already way past the deadline, and at the same time try to finish what I promised Pst to do. Of course, babies do not have much patience (if any at all), so most of the time, I attend to joey first. Then mad rush through what I need to do.

It's great of course when there's someone else who can take care of joey while I am busy doing work at home. Sometimes my mother in law, sometimes Isaiah. At least I can focus on the work at hand and be more efficient. Otherwise, it's alot of multi-tasking and concentrating on many things at the same time, and moving back and forth between my laptop and Joey's cot. The nature of my work is pretty adhoc and alot of times, require me to work when I am home. So, it's really a challenge of juggling between many tasks at one go.

Sometimes I feel frustrated that I have to literally tear myself away from my work when I am focusing hard on it, so that I can attend to joey. But I also thank God that it has made me stronger. My stress tolerance level has definitely increased because of that.

Joey is still small now and feeds only on milk. When the time comes for her to start on soft food and other solids, it's a whole new ball game altogether. I would have to set aside some time in the morning to prepare her porridge and cereals. It's no longer just packing the milk powder into the container and ensuring I brought my bottles and hot water along. But I am sure I would be able to do it.

I have a role model that I always take encouragement from. She's my colleague, Dawn. She has a coming-to-3-year-old daughter named Denise and like me, she brought Denise to work everyday in her front carrier until she was old enough to go to school recently. I always tell myself that if Dawn can handle everything without a maid and a car, I can too. :) There is some motivation that someone else has also done it, so it's not impossible.

Motherhood is really not easy. When I am tired, I cannot just plop down onto my bed and sleep. When I am exhausted, I cannot take my own sweet time and bathe for 30 minutes. When I am moody and don't feel like talking, I cannot just ignore my crying baby. But so far, the sweetness in motherhood has pushed me along and helped me to overlook all the sacrifices I have to make.

I think God is a good God. He puts in the right balance of sweetness and bitterness into our lives so that we can continue to run. :)